All posts by Gina Kleinmartin

The Sixth Day of Christmas: Six Geese a-Laying

 

My mother would tell me a story of how the Romans used geese instead of dogs to guard their cities and soldiers. I am not sure how widespread through out Rome this actually was, but there is historical evidence that the Romans and many many others have relied on these birds to sounds an alarm and defend them or their property from intruders. So on this sixth day of Christmas, I am thinking about defense.

I am thinking about the defenses we set up that actually hurt us, the ones that our animal brains put into place to deal with hurts when we don’t have the tools to deal with them in a healthy manner. You probably can name a couple of your own right now, and know exactly what I mean. I have been under a great deal of stress over the past few years, and have learned some needed but not healthy ways of defending my psyche. Now that the stress is loosening up, I need to remember to shift from non productive defenses to productive ones.

For example, I have a procrastinator’s habit of doing busy work: when you keep moving and get things done but they are not the things that will actually move your life forward. Yes, the refrigerator needs to be cleaned and dinner needs to be cooked, but that looming bill needs to be paid and that dreadful task needs to be done as well. But by busying myself with other tasks, I can keep pushing off what needs to be done, working hard, and still feeling guilt, stress and not moving forward.

So when I hear this line, I will think of defenses that are good and ones that are dangerous and will remember to work against the ones that will not help me in the long run, even if they make me feel better in the short run.

Back to introduction.
Forward to Seven.

The Fifth Day of Christmas: Five Golden Rings

Eddie Izzard jokes that at any Christmas party, when people hear this part of this carol, they run into the room to sing it.

An additional funny thing is that it’s so out of place. The first few days are gifts of birds, here’s a sensible if overkill gift of the only jewelry in the song, and then we are back to two more birds. I had a personal a-ha! Moment when I learned that ‘gold rings’ could be a variation on ‘gold spinks’ (an old name for goldfinch). While the first printed version of the song we have has five finger rings in the illustration, that doesn’t mean that the mistake didn’t date to 1780. Logically, it doesn’t fit to have the rings in the middle of the birds, to me. So, for the fifth day of Christmas, I will be thinking about change and mistakes.

It’s easy to be scared of change and mistakes. It leads to the unknown and out of our comfort zones, and it’s frightening to be somewhere we don’t know well. Even if the place we’re used to is miserable. But change can lead to growth and a chance to move forward and into a better and happier comfort zone. And mistakes are a chance to refine and move forward. I try to remember that mistakes are proof of risk, and without risk there is no chance of reward.

In our house, we have a wonderful desk my husband make over 20 years ago. It has a drop down leaf, so we’d always have clean desk space, no matter how messy the desk got.  The first time he cut the leaf, he cut it just a bit too small. Since then, the mistake he had made has been used to create larger table space for parties, a top to the rabbit hutch and it’s currently a support for our Christmas tree. We still call it ‘the mistake’ and agree it’s been an incredibly useful mistake over the years.

So, on this fifth day of Christmas, I will remember that mistakes aren’t bad by definition, only when you allow them to be so.

Back to introduction.
Forward to Six.

The Fourth Day of Christmas: Four Calling Birds/Colly birds

 

Depending on where you are from, you know the fourth gift is either four calling birds or four colly birds. ‘Colly’ is British for ‘coal dark’ (or grimy, but let’s stick with the coal dark) and would have meant black birds.

Black birds have been revered in many cultures as a symbol of the divine link. I have a friend who always takes it as an omen when he sees them. I am far more skeptical, but I still think that a link with whatever you consider divine is helpful and can be productive.

One of the reasons we like celebrating all the twelve days is because our farming ancestors used this time to relax and reassess and visit during the time when there was no work to do outside (indoor work was never finished). Work no longer stops for the winter, but the snow and the early dark still beckon for us to slow down and enjoy life differently.

We are in Buffalo, and it’s currently -17 degrees Fahrenheit (-8 C) and we have about 8 inches if snow. It’s been flurrying off and on all day. It’s the type of day where soft clothes and warm drinks are exactly what you want and need. And for me, that’s a chance to slow down and reconnect with myself and my family. And, by extension, the divine within.

I know I should be looking outward and recognizing the divine in you, and that’s wrong. That negativity, that deflection, that pushing away from self comfort into self criticism is harmful. Many of us do that, though. We put ourselves down and only focus on what needs to be done, not on what we’ve accomplished. In truth, it is often those of us who get the most done who only look at what we still need to do. I will slow down, I will look at what has been accomplished today, this week, this year that’s nearly over, and I will not beat myself up over what hasn’t been done yet.

So when I remember the Calling Birds, I will remember to be gentle with myself and recognize the divine link within.

Back to Beginning.
Forward to Five.