Eddie Izzard jokes that at any Christmas party, when people hear this part of this carol, they run into the room to sing it.

An additional funny thing is that it’s so out of place. The first few days are gifts of birds, here’s a sensible if overkill gift of the only jewelry in the song, and then we are back to two more birds. I had a personal a-ha! Moment when I learned that ‘gold rings’ could be a variation on ‘gold spinks’ (an old name for goldfinch). While the first printed version of the song we have has five finger rings in the illustration, that doesn’t mean that the mistake didn’t date to 1780. Logically, it doesn’t fit to have the rings in the middle of the birds, to me. So, for the fifth day of Christmas, I will be thinking about change and mistakes.

It’s easy to be scared of change and mistakes. It leads to the unknown and out of our comfort zones, and it’s frightening to be somewhere we don’t know well. Even if the place we’re used to is miserable. But change can lead to growth and a chance to move forward and into a better and happier comfort zone. And mistakes are a chance to refine and move forward. I try to remember that mistakes are proof of risk, and without risk there is no chance of reward.

In our house, we have a wonderful desk my husband make over 20 years ago. It has a drop down leaf, so we’d always have clean desk space, no matter how messy the desk got.  The first time he cut the leaf, he cut it just a bit too small. Since then, the mistake he had made has been used to create larger table space for parties, a top to the rabbit hutch and it’s currently a support for our Christmas tree. We still call it ‘the mistake’ and agree it’s been an incredibly useful mistake over the years.

So, on this fifth day of Christmas, I will remember that mistakes aren’t bad by definition, only when you allow them to be so.

Back to introduction.
Forward to Six.

For today, this third day of Christmas meditations, I’m thinking not quite of French hens but rather the Gallic Rooster. No matter how far from the farm you are, you know that the rooster will crow at dawn to wake the world up. So today, I am thinking about awakening.

There is a line from one of my favorite holiday movies that I like: “There is a world going on beyond our problems”.  It’s easy, when things are dark, to shut everything out. To forget there is a world outside of your own problems. And we shouldn’t.

One of the worst things I have ever gone through was infertility treatments. While I would never want to go through it again, or wish it one someone else, I am so happy to be the person I am now versus the person who started treatments. I don’t like the scars, but knowing that there are so many different personal hells, just in infertility, has made me so much more aware of how many hells exist I don’t even know about and how many people walk them everyday.

So I try to remember, every day, how hard life can be for people. And I try to be considerate of those days they are broken or sensitive and I try to help. And I try to think of that, not just for people I meet, but for everyone. I want to be awake to the rest of the world, and not just retreat into my own life and my own problems. It’s not easy to do, especially if I am hurting, but it is so important, unless we end up cold and callous.

So when I hear the French hens, I will think of the rooster doing his best to wake everyone up, no matter how little we want to be awake.

Back to the introduction.
Forward to the Fourth Day.

The Second Day of Christmas: Two Turtle Doves

I think of love when thinking of the two turtle doves that are second in the song. I think most people will. It’s common enough in our culture. I even have an ornament on our tree given to us our first year of marriage of two doves cuddling. So for this second day, I am going to think about Love. While love is common and everywhere, and fairly simple, it’s not actually an easy thing to write about, despite the plethora of songs and poems that do it.

As you know, English is a mis-mash of different languages that all loaned words and phrases to us. Love is from Proto- German, and the same root word gives the German for ‘joy’. (English uses the Latin word gaudia to get our joy.) We currently have only the one word for love, although the Greeks had 4 different words for four different concepts of love. They had the affection that parents feel for their children, the passion that sexual partners feel for each other, the care we feel for our friends and family, and the general love we feel for mankind. The way we use love in ‘I love chocolate’ was not a form of love to the Greeks, but has been a legitimate use of the word in English since the 1200’s. Love meaning ‘nothing’, as in ‘do it for love’ or the tennis score, dates back to the 1600’s. It’s strange to me that a word that means everything can also mean nothing.

This helps to explain why there are so many different things that we think of when we say or hear ‘love’. You can love your children, your spouse, your siblings. You can love ice cream and working out and movies. And all are valid loves. All bring us joy.

But many times, we try to quantify love, to say that this thing or that, or this person or that is worthy or unworthy of love. We even judge ourselves worthy or unworthy of loving or being loved. We judge, and weigh, and reason, and bargain and rarely simply love.

Love and joy are linked. If it brings you joy, you can be proud to love it. It doesn’t matter if it is silly or serious. So if you love ice cream, love ice cream. Learn to make it, simply buy some, call a friend to share some. If you love a hobby, indulge in it. See what makes you get joy from it, and keep it in your life, especially when you think you don’ thave enough time.

And of course, love your family, love your friends, love those who bring you joy, And in return, demonstrate your love. Tell those you love what they mean to you. Give them a call, drop them a message. Check in with them so they feel the joy of your love for them.

So when I think of the two turtle doves, I will remember all the people and all the things that bring me joy, and be filled with my love for them.

Back to the introduction.
Forward to the Third Day.

Note Bene: As long as it’s positive and doesn’t hurt yourself or others, it is worthy of your love. If it damages your happiness, your health, your relationships or your life in any way, it’s probably not love. Seek support. Another note: this does not hold true for children. We love them even when there is no joy, which is why the Greeks had a special name for it.