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Second Day of Christmas: Two Turtle Doves

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The Second Day of Christmas: Two Turtle Doves

I think of love when thinking of the two turtle doves that are second in the song. I think most people will. It’s common enough in our culture. I even have an ornament on our tree given to us our first year of marriage of two doves cuddling. So for this second day, I am going to think about Love. While love is common and everywhere, and fairly simple, it’s not actually an easy thing to write about, despite the plethora of songs and poems that do it.

As you know, English is a mis-mash of different languages that all loaned words and phrases to us. Love is from Proto- German, and the same root word gives the German for ‘joy’. (English uses the Latin word gaudia to get our joy.) We currently have only the one word for love, although the Greeks had 4 different words for four different concepts of love. They had the affection that parents feel for their children, the passion that sexual partners feel for each other, the care we feel for our friends and family, and the general love we feel for mankind. The way we use love in ‘I love chocolate’ was not a form of love to the Greeks, but has been a legitimate use of the word in English since the 1200’s. Love meaning ‘nothing’, as in ‘do it for love’ or the tennis score, dates back to the 1600’s. It’s strange to me that a word that means everything can also mean nothing.

This helps to explain why there are so many different things that we think of when we say or hear ‘love’. You can love your children, your spouse, your siblings. You can love ice cream and working out and movies. And all are valid loves. All bring us joy.

But many times, we try to quantify love, to say that this thing or that, or this person or that is worthy or unworthy of love. We even judge ourselves worthy or unworthy of loving or being loved. We judge, and weigh, and reason, and bargain and rarely simply love.

Love and joy are linked. If it brings you joy, you can be proud to love it. It doesn’t matter if it is silly or serious. So if you love ice cream, love ice cream. Learn to make it, simply buy some, call a friend to share some. If you love a hobby, indulge in it. See what makes you get joy from it, and keep it in your life, especially when you think you don’ thave enough time.

And of course, love your family, love your friends, love those who bring you joy, And in return, demonstrate your love. Tell those you love what they mean to you. Give them a call, drop them a message. Check in with them so they feel the joy of your love for them.

So when I think of the two turtle doves, I will remember all the people and all the things that bring me joy, and be filled with my love for them.

Back to the introduction.
Forward to the Third Day.

Note Bene: As long as it’s positive and doesn’t hurt yourself or others, it is worthy of your love. If it damages your happiness, your health, your relationships or your life in any way, it’s probably not love. Seek support. Another note: this does not hold true for children. We love them even when there is no joy, which is why the Greeks had a special name for it.

health, meditation

The First Day of Christmas: A Partridge in a Pear Tree

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It’s the first part of the song, the first bird of the group. And it always made me think about a lovely small potted pear tree with a bird sitting nicely nested in it, like all the imagery surrounding the song. Apparently partridges don’t roost in trees, pear or otherwise. They stay on the ground. Because, of course, this needed explanation, the Greeks had a myth. Daedalus, of the Icarus flying too close to the sun myth, had a nephew named Perdix. Perdix was smart, very smart, and creative. He is credited with inventing the compass and the saw. Daedalus, who was very intelligent himself, was jealous of his nephew, and pushed him off a ledge. Athena, who liked ingenuity, changed Perdix into a bird so he would survive. Obviously, he became the partridge. Because of that, the partridge is afraid of heights and remains close to the ground at all times. And understandably so.

Now, being so afraid of heights you never perch in a tree is not a good thing. But being grounded is. So on this first day of Christmas, I will think about that partridge and being grounded.

Being grounded to me is having both feet firmly placed and having my balance, metaphorically speaking. It is knowing where my center is and being able to let the world blow around me without knocking me off kilter. Do I always succeed? Or course not, especially when larger or even small unexpected winds blow. But having a sense of where the ground is can help me find my feet faster. Breathing, a cup of tea, a hug from a friend can all be ways to remember to ground myself. Putting my feet in sand or grass can help, if I am lucky enough to have access to either in a Buffalo winter. Drinking a glass of water, connecting with a friend, working on a project can all help me regain that balance and keep my feet from sliding when the winds hit.

But there is another sort of being grounded that this makes me think of. It’s remembering that so little of what I do is actually important. Yes, I need to clean the bathroom and I need to make that dip and I need to dust the shelves— but none of that is near as important as slowing down and being present. Friends won’t care about the dust, and will forgive an unwashed floor (I hope!). They don’t care that I have 3 snacks out instead of the 6 I had planned. What is important isn’t how hard I can work and how much I can overextend to create the ‘perfect’ evening. What is important is being present and loving those who are around me.

So on this first day of Christmas, I will remember that Partridge and I will work to keep to the ground as much as I can.

(an aside: Perdix’s name became the word for partridge. Some people believe when the song entered English, the French Perdix was heard as ‘pear tree’, which is how was roosted.)

Back to the start.
Forward to day Two.

health, meditation

Meditations on the 12 days of Christmas

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For most people who celebrate any part of the Christmas season, it’s a mad rush of house cleaning, cookie baking, present purchasing and wrapping, decorating and being around family. By the end of the day on the 25th, people are worn out, tired and ready to forget the holidays.

And most people do. The wrapping gets thrown away, the tree comes down, and there is no more celebration or contemplation until we are reminded again of the holidays for a few hours on New Year’s Eve.

For many people, the Twelve Days of Christmas in the song have ended on the 25th, and there is now a depression and a darkness that hits.

But Christmas Day is the first day of Christmas, and the 12 days follow it.  I wanted to spend some time during this time of quiet after the rush of the holidays just meditating on aspects of life that the holidays brought up, one for each day of celebration. And I finally decided to just write meditations on the Song— it was already set up for the 12 days, and each part of the memory game could mean something particular.

So this year, I am sharing my Meditations on the 12 days of Christmas, so you can join me if you also need a chance to breathe and think over this holiday.

Starting with the First Day of Christmas: A Partridge in a Pear Tree.
The Second Day: Two Turtle Doves. 
The Third Day: Three French Hens.
The Fourth Day: Four Calling Birds
The Fifth Day: Five Golden Rings
The Sixth Day: Six Geese a-Laying
The Seventh Day: Seven Swans a-Swimming
The Eight Day: Eight Maids a-Milking
The Ninth Day: Nine Ladies Dancing
The Tenth Day: Ten Lords a-Leaping
The Eleventh Day: Eleven Pipers Piping
The Twelfth Day: Twelve Drummers Drumming
Epiphany

Surviving independently in a city.